This one is for those who had nightmares during their Engineering Viva's (EEEs and ECEs). They bring back fond memories for those who care to smile at the past…
Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C.as compared to D.C. ? Candidate : An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and requires more space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.
External (to student) : "Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC To pass through ? Student: See, a capacitor is like this ---| |--- , OK. DC comes straight, like this ----------, and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, UP DOWN and jumps right over the capacitor!"
Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC? Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is AC. If it gets stuck, it was DC.
Interviewer: H! ow will you reverse direction of an Induction motor? Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the x-ud, turn the motor around, and put back the bolts.
Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor? Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch) Interviewer: Stop! Stop! Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling pitch)
Examiner: "What is a step-up transformer?" Student: "A transformer that is put on top of electric poles." Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down transformer?" Student (hesitantly): "Uh - A transformer that is put in the x-udment or in a pit?" Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a transformer that is installed on the ground?" (Student knows he is caught-can't answer) Examiner (impatiently): "Well?" Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer, sir!"
TOP FACTS ABOUT ENGINEERS
Engineers at work:
Assignments solved by one and then carry out mass transfer operations throughout the class
The most important machine for Engineers:
Xerox Machine (Without which assignment Completion couldn't be possible)
Top two Engineering Rumours:
Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks
Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:
'What is this man, 60% o f the paper was out of the syllabus' 'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history' 'I am failing'
So guys and girls, enjoy engineering -a fellow engineering student, Kavin.A
Dear Tech Support Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.
Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Soccersystem I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!
Thanks, "A Troubled User"
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that people complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support) . I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0
STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck, Tech Support ... Team: whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the augmentation.
Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion.
+Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.
+Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.
+Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .
+Rajnikanth Method :
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
+Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !
+Manirathnam Method (director):
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.
+Karan Johar Method (director):
Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness (third) into the forest. You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!
+Yash Chopra method (director):
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.
+George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!
Recharge ur phone every month freely by following this process
Please follow the instruction & you can recharge your SIM card absolutely free. Yes it is possible, see how technology can be used to make technicians fool.
Please follow the instructions as stated below before you start it:
Applicable for ORANGE (HUTCH),AIRTEL, SPICE & BSNL users only ,sorry for idea, BPL?and Reliance users and is done illegally of course.. But there are many things that are illegal , who cares. Don't worry nobody can trap you. No legal action can be taken on you for this. So go ahead without worrying.
You can only do this every 27 th & 28 th of the month as the network system under upgrade.
1.) ** Dial "1415007" using your h/phone and wait for 5 second
2.) ** after 5 second, you will hear some funny noise (like sound from TV
3.) ** Once the noise stop, immediately dial 9151 follow by your phone
number
4.) ** A recorded message "please insert your pin number" will follow
5.) ** punch in the pin number "011785 45227 00734" and wait for the operator finish repeating the above pin number.
6.) ** After the pin number has been repeat, dial "0405-for AIRTEL,
404-for ORANGE (HUTCH)" .
404-for BSNL" .
7.) ** you will hear a message "for air time top-up press 1723" you
just have to follow the instruction
8.) ** After you follow the instruction, the noisy sound will
re-appear for about 5 second
9.) ** once the noise stop, dial "4455147" follow by "146"
10.) ** after about 5 second, dial "1918" after 3 second dial "4451"
11.) ** after you done that, punch in the serial number
"01174452271145527" you will hear dial tone.
12.) ** once the dialing tone stop, dial "55524785933" you will hear "
please key in your password"
13.) ** the password is " ****2+253+7891*+546322 " wait for the message
"your password accepted"
14.) ** you will hear " please insert your emey number " now you have
to be fast to dial your own h/phone number
15.) ** you will hear a dialing tone, when the call is answered, dial
"1566" and you will hear "re-confirm emey number"
16.) ** once you hear that m! essage, dial "6011556 2245334 follow by
your h/phone number"
17.) ** after a while, you will hear a message "your pin number is
accepted" you have to dial "1007"
18.) ** after you done that you will hear "your emey number is accepted"
19.) ** continue dial "4566" you will hear "your password is accepted"
20.) ** once the second message finish, immediately dial your own h/phone number
21.) ** Now you will receive a message saying ............
22.) "NOTHING IS FREE IN THIS WORLD, . SO, GET BACK TO WORK AND DON'T WASTE TIME !!" Bye.........Bye...........
exams !! oh shit, bullshit and me just staring my computer round the clock and yeah thats how my face is gonna be, soon i find the question paper in my hand.
probably this fact could help us :
Why students fail in exam???????
It's not the student’s fault if he/she fails. Its because the year has an 'ONLY 365' days. Typical academic year for a student.
1. Sundays - 52, Sundays in a year, which are rest days. Balance 313 days.
2. Summer holidays - 50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Balance 263 days .
